Poemas 13

Kurting agony

Some morphine is needed here, right now
to feel no fear, raise no doubts (peace allowed!)
and then the bleeding thoughts elope,
bent in shadows of inconstant hope,
would turn themselves in invisible control
or maybe something stronger to protect my soul,
beyond spoken words of forced braveness
written in books, stories of beautiful fakeness.
How can an existence be missed if it was not known?
‘cos the presence I seek for, disappeared alone.
Since morphine didn’t show up, maybe heroine
may come along and fill me strong, were you seen
happy after you lived assort to forget pain.
Now I just need to know you were the one to decide your gain.
Well, all apologies I hear, increasing my agony
but not my tears, “everything’s my fault”, so no apology.
And you were right, all you knew was all it was due,
hence I madly hope you were the one who decided what to do.

[Abril de 2002]

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